Sunday, February 19, 2006

Cost of a haircut

Full Recovery Expected So, where better to go on a slightly down and introspective day than the barbers? Okay, the pub would have been my natural choice, but not a wise one in my current state of mind:'How's that bug fix going, Monkey?''Ah. Boss. Look. I'm going to have to pull your nails out one by one and bang them into your testicles with your head because you are a worthless irritating self-important collection of uselessness not even fit to be called a shemale .''Another couple of days, then? Right.'No. I settled on getting a haircut. The bloke doing the cutting had the usual conversational skills required for an intensely customer-facing job:'Hello.''Hello.'[5 minutes of silence as he wonders which brain-stimulating topic to start with]'Sun's coming out, then...''Yep.''Better than last week.''Yep.''It was really grey last week.''Yep.'[5 minutes of silence as he rummages around the mental rolodex for the next Exciting Subject]'You got the day off then?''Nope. Just came into town for lunch.''Right.'[5 minutes to calm down]'Square or tapered at the back?''Tapered.''Right.'[5 minutes of snipping at the air]'Eleven quid please.''Holy...'Yeah. Just what the doctor ordered


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